April 1, 1999 -- Concord, MA -- A small suburban back yard in Concord, Massachusetts is the site of the first ever discovery of Plasticine Man, a mid-20th century hominid thought to be an ancestor of modern humans. First uncovered by a resident digging in her garden, Plasticine Man's many artifacts are astonishing and puzzling archeologists and anthropologists around the globe. "I was digging a hole so I could transplant some ferns," said Deborah Bier, the accidental discoverer of this ancient trove. "Everywhere I dug, I hit plastic garbage and bread bags...there must be hundreds of them down there. And some glass bottles. A few automobile parts. Old bones. Lots of ceramic tiles, too. I had no idea what was buried there!"
Archeologists and anthropologists were called in to examine her find and eventually it was protected by the state as an Historically Important Trash Spot (HITS). It is being fully excavated, with the dig being supervised by Emanuel R. Hassenpfeffer, senior scientist at local Thoreau University. It is being funded in part by a grant from the NUF (National Unscientific Foundation).
Now suspected to be an ancient burial ground for Plasticine Man and his clan, the spot was originally a leaf dump. About 4-5' deep with leaves, the homeowners sowed successive plantings of buckwheat over two years to break them down and enrich the soil. Later, when the area was ready for planting, the ground was a deep-chocolate color and very rich. "But the real riches in the form of archeological treasure were still hidden from us," intoned Hassenpfeffer in a nearly unintelligible accent of questionable European origin. "It was only after a few years where frost heaves forced the artifacts closer to the surface that they were discovered by Ms. Bier."
What is astounding researchers is what is INSIDE those garbage bags: beautifully decomposed leaf mould. Apparently, Plasticine Man would bag his leaves every fall, and in what was no doubt a religious ritual, would cast both leaves AND bags onto the leaf dump where the leaves would become compost, yet remain entrapped inside the plastic bags. "Most gardeners enrich the soil by allowing the leaf mould to return to the land," points out Hassenpfeffer. "But Plasticine Man so worshipped plastic he enclosed precious compost in this holy substance. We are still trying to figure out the cultural significance of these actions or if these people were just plain nuts."
A museum is being planned to house the artifacts. But it will take many more years of study by many different types of researchers before they can be well understood.
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Text: ©1999 The Concord, MA Homepage
Background: The Unknown Artist
Veggies: Hee Yun's Little Place
