By S. Bushra Khan, an American Muslim poetess now living in California.
When I was a child in New England, during the spring and summer months the sun would shine so golden behind green, translucent leaves. There would be dew everywhere in long grasses. There used to be big, green spiders in our garden catching the morning light within their webs in jewel-like dew. In our woods would be trees of maple, oak, birch, and pine. Great fans of ferns would grow between these trees, and last year's orange pine needles would carpet the ground. In the summer, there would be blueberries hidden in the shade on top of hills where in certain places you could see the whole town and Mt. Monadanock, blue in the distance. We would pick them to make muffins or pie. The summers would be very humid. Daylilies would grow in damp areas. Following golden twilights, we would run through pastures in the evenings. Each day beneath the shadows hid mysteries, significance, and passions of life.
At the early evening, I would look up and see if I could locate the first stars, and gradually they would come out. I could identify the constellations and planets. One girl down the street said I was the girl with my eyes in the sky. In winter we had a great deal of snow, but still I would go out and watch the full moon over the snow, how the snow would sparkle, and the long, deep fingers of Payne's gray shadows would caress the brilliant snow from the dark trees. It would look like a mystical fairyland. I even went ice-skating under the full moon 
on a frozen lake. The cold would make me so alive. Many times in the winter, as a teenager, I would walk my Irish setter into a snowstorm. I would stop at the streetlight at the end of our street and watch the snow falling, and my head turned upward, it would feel as if I were traveling through stars, and the time back to the Source.
From a very young age, I believed in God. My experiences were first at St. Mary's Church as a small girl in Winchendon, Massachusetts. I could see the Christ figure and beautiful angels bending towards the altar. The top of the ceiling was a deep blue and covered with many white stars and saints around the edge. I saw God's face in nature and in the real stars at night. From a very young age, I had a very deep sense of justice and extreme sensitivity, which made me very difficult to live with. I could not tolerate many situations around me. I escaped to the woods. At this time, was the Vietnam War, JFK had been assassinated many years before, as was his brother Bobby. Martin Luther King was killed. I could not tolerate the poverty and the moral situations within my own town of Winchendon, Massachusetts.
As I became older, I gave up on Catholicism. I felt that for me, it was not enough. I realized that I did not need anyone between God and me. To go to God, was enough to go and ask for forgiveness and answers to prayer. Although very much I respected St. Francis of Assisi and Mother Theresa, and I respected a great deal monastic life, for me it was not enough. I wanted to become even closer to God. Through literature, I began to learn about Indian culture, and grew to love the culture and way of life of the sub-continent. Until this day, I love Indian music. I considered myself a Transcendentalist after reading a biography of Henry David Thoreau in high school. He believed in the same essence of beauty and nature as I did.
Being a Transcendallist, I try to transcend my ordinary experiences with nature, to find the essence of God in nature, to be observant, to live with simplicity, to try to get back to the primeval Eden, to have a deep regard for life, to value what I can do for myself and those around me, and what I can do for humanity.
I became an artist and a poetess at the age of 7. Even at a young age, I translated what I saw into nature into works of art and poetry. I did eventually go to art school, and publish my work. But I saw a great injustice in this society, that it did not validate women, that men took advantage of women, and there were no protections, that women -- especially gifted women -- were not valued in this society. Many women had to use their beauty to get what they wanted and may be deserted in the end. Women do not have great self-esteems, myself included. I saw this as a form of enslavement.
I married a man from Bangladesh. I became a Muslim for the very reasons that I am a Transcendentalist. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) stood up for human rights and justice. He was a great humanitarian and he cared very much for the dignity of women and for the rights of women.
At his time, women took care of the wounded in the battlefield, and were able to discuss matters directly with him. Even though he was the head of state, he lived a life of poverty and simplicity, not wasting resources. He was a humble man. The only times he was harsh with others was when someone was so unjust and did something so intentionally wrong. He was kind to children and the poor. The Koran stands for justice and the dignity of human life. Only in the last resort, are we to fight and defend ourselves. In the Holy Koran are very precise details of nature, how everything is part of a grand cycle and how everything has a great purpose in Allah's design, in the process of life...and that life is sacred and significant, all life. Everyone on this earth is encouraged to observe nature as Allah's signs and witness that He exists, and to seek knowledge to the ends of the earth. This is for both men and women, and no matter the skin color.
But everyone has Ibadat or duty to Allah, to his family, children, to friends and neighbors, and to humanity as a whole, and that we should live in simplicity and not waste our resources, and share with others that we have too much of, and no need for, and sacrifice for the common good for all.
As I go on now walking in the woods. Now my life is in California, but I have traveled to Bangladesh, Malaysia, and Singapore, other places in the United States, I walk in the simplicity of woods and jungles, among skyscrapers, and Dhaka's streets, with my husband and my companions searching for Allah's beauty and mercy. The whole world is a mosque at my feet...
Photos: Courtesy of Art Today.
Backgrounds: Word of Mouth Web Design.
This website is a gift to the Concord community from ConcordMA.com, a full-service
Internet design and marketing company. 978 369-0113. PO Box 285, Concord, MA 01742 webmaster@concordma.com
