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|  By Christina BethkeDomestic violence programs are seeing a rise in teen dating violence -- whether this is due to an increased awareness of the issue or if, in fact, such incidents are on the rise is unclear. What we do know is that dating abuse IS happening in our schools. For example, as reported by the Centers for Disease Control, a study of 8th and 9th grade male and female students showed that 25% had been victims of nonsexual dating violence and 8% had been victims of sexual dating violence.
The participants had a choice of two questions:
The winners all responded to the first question above with recurring themes about what defines a healthy relationship. Trust and respect were mentioned repeatedly. Also, the absence of controlling behavior and physical abuse were also referred to as hallmarks of a healthy relationship.
All respondents were asked to answer the following: "What is one thing you can do to increase awareness of relationship violence in your community?" Our winners had numerous suggestions: "Little girls need to be taught self esteem. Little boys need to be taught to express themselves." "We could put posters in schools, doctors offices, day care centers, stores, and other places where many members of the community would see them. Another way to educate the younger members of our community is by teaching the students of our schools. This topic could be added to the DARE curriculum or taught by the school teachers." "To increase awareness in school, people who have gone through these types of experiences should come to school and talk to the kids so they know what can happen. Also in health classes the topic should be taught."
"I will inform my Wellness teacher [about the essay contest] and she can discuss it in our classes. Since the students are our future they can both spread the news and prevent more violence in relationships in the future." If you know someone who needs support, or if you'd like to help in the effort to prevent dating and domestic violence, please contact one of the agencies below:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (DVVAP)
 
 
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In October 2003, Concord Oil Company sponsored an essay contest in cooperation with Domestic Violence Victim Assistance Program (DVVAP), REACH and the Network for Women's Lives. The purpose of the contest was to encourage students in grades 7 through 12 to think about the topic of domestic violence. We had five winners who hailed from the towns of Bedford, Sudbury, Acton (2), and Billerica. Each received a pair of Bruins tickets donated by Concord Oil Company.
Students mentioned a variety of ways they learned about healthy (and unhealthy) relationships. Parents, television, movies, common sense, and being in an unhealthy relationship were all cited as contributing to the participants' ideas about healthy relationships. Two of our respondents described their personal experiences of feeling controlled and disrespected by an ex-boyfriend. This is important to note because parents may not realize that feeling controlled or disrespected is a problem their preteen or teenager could be experiencing RIGHT NOW. 
"If you have a friend and you think they are in an unhealthy relationship, you should tell them. They may not like it, but you are being a true friend for helping them."